Category Archives: Counseling
The Inner Rub of Being “Here”… “Now”
Thursday, December 1st, 2011In our more sober moments of personal, existential reflection, we may bitingly realize, at least from an earthly point of view, that life, at best, is a gnawing, impenetrable mystery, filled with curveless circles and silent sounds—-clearly paradoxical and callously taunting—-deceptively offering a mirage of a familiar, well-travelled road, but persistently serving up a speedway on which we are seemingly careening out of control at every turn and bend, tightly squeezing between converging cement walls on a grease slick route. (Sounds a little melodramatic, eh? Perhaps, but nonetheless true). Perplexing, even disturbing, questions about life and beingness rudely emerge within…
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The Death of a Parent May Be Hard
Tuesday, March 8th, 2011With the death of a parent (and really, of any close family member), a strange “silence”, or “heavy fog”, may irresistibly descend upon, and eerily engulf, one’s thinking and perception. Life is no longer viewed nor experienced in quite the same way—when the dust eventually settles, a “town” may take on a different hue. It can’t be the same—a major life reference point, and grounding, has irretrievably vanished. With the crashing reality of the demise of one’s parent—the person who was organically responsible for one’s own existence (forging fixed blood-ties)—the surviving member(s) may feel a disturbing sense of abandonment and…
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The Christian and Anxiety
Tuesday, December 7th, 2010Introduction The experience of anxiety is common and universal. It is not an emotion restricted to the economically deprived or to the politically oppressed. Anxiety is an inescapable part of the human condition, for life on all its levels, from the international and governmental to the domestic and personal, is marked with uncertainty, perplexity, and stress. Many may deny their personal anxiety, or at least the intensity of it (even to themselves) for a variety of reasons, such as, the desire to avoid embarrassment, the sense of pride, the fear of rejection, the threat and unease of vulnerability, etc; notwithstanding,…
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Foundational Dynamics for a Healthy, Happy Intimate Relationship
Tuesday, November 2nd, 2010Mutual Likeability positive view and attitude appreciate each other’s personality, temperament, and style Active Friendship enjoy spending time together have fun together Mutual Respect and Esteem value each other; even be proud of each other treat each other in an honourable way Mutual Humility no superior or condescending disposition having a servant’s attitude Mutual Trust feel safe and secure with each other no cause/reason for suspicion Consistent Physical and Emotional Intimacy terms of endearment, expressions of affection, sexual openness and receptivity General Compatibility intellectually, educationally, culturally, socially, spiritually/religiously, temperamentally, etc. Commitment to Partnership working cooperatively and supportively, with common values and goals Clear…
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Wisdom for Marriage (Spiritual Version)
Wednesday, August 25th, 2010Cherish the bond of unity which you have before the world, not trying to explain its mystery, but ever seeking to plumb its depths. At the core of this unity is love. Love has no bounds. It is as deep as the human heart and as eternal as Father Time itself. Let love be your passion, and it will become your peace. Let love be your pursuit, and it will become your pleasure. Let love freely grow, and its harvest will be bountiful. The seed of love will become the flower of the sublime. So follow love. Be, therefore, patient…
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Wisdom for Marriage (Christian Version)
Wednesday, August 25th, 2010Cherish the bond of unity which you have before God, not trying to explain its mystery, but ever seeking to plumb its depths. At the core of this unity is love. Love has no bounds—it is as deep as the human heart and as eternal as the Divine itself. Let love be your passion, and it will become your peace; let love be your pursuit, and it will become your pleasure; let love freely grow, and its harvest will be bountiful. The seed of love will become the flower of the sublime. In love, you will assume the very likeness…
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The Dynamics of Bad Moral Habits
Wednesday, July 28th, 2010The awakening or bestirring of carnal desire/passion carries with it the potential seed of a bad moral habit (e.g. gluttony, masturbation, alcoholism, prostitution, drug abuse, etc.). Satisfying and feeding (i.e., conditioning) a carnal desire/passion creates a bad moral habit. Desire/passion provides the driving power behind a moral habit; personal needs (e.g. the need for security, self-worth, etc.) provide the impetus. The essence of a bad moral habit simply consists of the inner constraint, through practice or training, to satisfy a carnal desire/passion. The experience of pleasure satisfies the desire/passion. The experience of pleasure is the ‘pay off’, and thus the…
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Breaking a Bad Moral Habit
Wednesday, July 28th, 2010Realize and admit that you have a bad moral habit. This realization and admission often require brutal honest self-examination. Feel the guilt, shame and grief of having the bad moral habit. The experience requires dwelling on and considering the negative character of the habit, as well as its damaging consequences. Evidence a desire and commitment to break the bad moral habit. (Usually a desire to change emerges from a sense of desperation or of guilt and its concomitants). Clearly, one must assume personal responsibility. Confess the sinfulness or inappropriateness of the bad moral habit, and mentally disown (i.e., repudiate any…
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Counseling and the Demonic
Wednesday, July 28th, 2010The Demonic Nature of the World We live in a moral-spiritual world. The ontological character of the cosmos is one of moral corruption and evil because of the entrance of sin into the world (Rm. 5:12ff.) and the presence of morally fallen angels (Is. 14:12ff.; Ez. 28:12ff.). Satan is the moral-spiritual ruler of this world (Jn. 12:31; 14:30; 16:11; Eph. 2:2). He reigns and controls the affairs and systems of this present evil age (Ga. 1:4). The critical truth that must always be remembered is that Christians live in Satan’s ‘sphere of activity and influence’-Christians are foreigners in a distant…
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Grieving and Bereavement
Wednesday, July 28th, 2010How do you minister to someone who has lost a friend or loved one? How do you cope when you have lost a friend or loved one? Bereavement may be quite burdensome because of the intensity of grief and the extensiveness of mourning. In order to more effectively minister to those who are bereaved, and to cope more effectively with bereavement ourselves, we must first understand the dynamics of grieving-mourning. Admittedly, most people do not understand grieving-mourning, and thus are ill-prepared to cope with it. In this paper I will address, first, understanding grieving-mourning and, second, treating grieving-mourning. A. Understanding…
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